Oz 9
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Oz 9
It's Spring 2142 (a Tuesday), and Gated Galaxies has launched its 400 Oz-8000 ships, each carrying 50,000 "resting guests" to, hopefully, a new home on a shiny, brand-new planet. Except this whole "terraform and take over" idea isn't actually the plan; the real plan is far more nefarious and involve...
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episode one hundred & eighteen: Easy, M Night Shamalamadingdong
Hello? Anybody out there?
Oh, yeah, hey. It's been a minute. Soooooooo... where were we?
Right. When last we left our cr...
episode one hundred & seventeen: New respect for gerbils
Yes, you read that title correctly. We have a profound respect for gerbils up here and won't hear a word against them. If you take issue with that, or...
episode one hundred & sixteen: No narration after meanwhile
Look, when your life is in the hands of someone who only recently gave up huffing glue, you keep your will updated and hope for the best.
Oz 9 recommends: Who the F**k Killed My Sister
Y'all. Y'ALL.
Ok, we've given you no reason to respect our judgment, but we're not wrong on this one. Sure, OK, we were wrong about the f...
episode one hundred & fifteen: Are you...twerking?
Stuck on Planet Bob where pretty much everything is awful all the time, the crew is freezing and desperate for a safe place to ... well, to screw up,...
episode one hundred & fourteen: Cigars, piles of meat, and someone else's liquor
The crew are tramping aimlessly across the blistering and occasionally freezing surface of Planet KTAALNS (Kill Them All And Leave No Survivors, other...
episode one hundred & thirteen: Into the clown car, y'all
Have you ever been invited to a party you really REALLY didn't want to go to? Like, you won't know very many people, you're not sure how to dress for...
Check Out Hit Singles
Brought to you by the team that brought you Wolf 359, you know it's going to be good.
Faith Adler has crossed the country to spend the s...
episode one hundred & twelve: Don't piss off your narrators
I'M SORRY, WHAT? HANG ON, LET ME GET TO A QUIETER PLACE, JUST A SECOND....
Phew. That's better. Things have gone bananarama aboard the Oz...
episode one hundred & eleven: There's a bulldozer outside
To everyone who responded to our blurb writer last time, they've been sacked. I mean ... does this look like message-in-a-bottle time? Using our show...
How I Died - It's to die for!
If you haven't yet discovered the podcast How I Died, you are in for a treat! A ghoulish, scary, maybe-listen-with-a-friend "treat," but yeah, a treat...
episode one hundred & ten: Hell bent for leisure
Once upon a time, there was a blurb writer who dreamed of the back of book jackets or maybe even the inside front flap, or the little bit of copy unde...
episode one hundred & nine: That whole *spoiler spoiler* dead situation
Oooof, who cranked up the gravity? Feels heavy in here....
It's spring in the bioswamp, as much as it can ever be "spring" in space. Things are...
episode one hundred & eight: Playing Pluto's advocate
It's a Wednesday eve as I write this, and as I look out the porthole into the infinite recesses of space, I'm reminded how very small each of us is ag...
Presenting Hannapocalypse
Hey, Space Monkeys. Have you ever wondered what happened to the earth Oz 9 left behind? I mean, I’m not saying we CAUSED the zombie apocalypse, but th...
episode one hundred & seven: Two went for the seljefløyte
-s the 1983 winner of the -nnu-l Dip your mittens contest, i -pplaud the l-rson brothers for their -m--ng skill -nd dedic-tion to the g-me.
you'...
episode one hundred & six: Is that a haddock?
So.... please take a close look at the episode art and tell me if you see anything funny? Mmmmm hmmmmmm. Apparently it took us a YEAR to notice. I bla...
BONUS: What's this I hear about an Oz 9 game?
It may not sound like it in the podcast, but life aboard the Oz 9 can be pretty boring at times. In the hiatuses (hiatusi?) between hair-on-fire momen...
episode one hundred & five: Clara? Mein little Kartoffelpuffer?
NOTE: Stay tuned after the credits and all, for a trailer of a great new show: A Paladin's Bargain. You can listen to it in the usual places. You'll w...
episode one hundred & four: #GreatSatansBoletes
YOU have a dirty mind. "Satan's Boletes" doesn't mean *THAT*. Although it does translate to "Great Satan's Fun Guys," so maybe it's still worth a gigg...
episode one hundred & three: A hungry, long-tailed weasel
Oz 9 recently turned six, and while most of the crew asked for a quick and painless death for their birthday wish, we're still here. (If you want to g...
episode one hundred & two: We're in space, Felber
Some old nemesisisisisisises have reappeared, and that's ... unfortunate. But at least Bob has some colourful brochures to distract our team from thei...
episode one hundred & one: "Crap" indeed. Meanwhile...
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Do you have ANY IDEA the literally dozens of hours you've wasted with this bunch of smooth-shelled walnuts? (and yes, that's a ref...
Discover Sanctuary
What would you do if you woke up on a newly terraformed planet (besides die of shock if you were on the Oz 9) to discover your husband has taken over...
Have You Met Madison Yet?
While Oz 9 is on hiatus (or "in hiding for tax purposes"), it's a great time to discover some new podcasts to binge. So if you're looking to adopt you...
Meet The Exile!
You're in the Oz 9 void — no new episodes until, what, Halloween or something? It's cruel, we know. We hear your howls of despair.
But wait! We...
episode one hundred: Suitless, helmetless, and utterly baffled
Well, ain't this a kick in the underpants? No one would have believed, on that random Tuesday in 2142, that the Oz 9 would still be kicking (mumble) m...
Desert Skies
Listen up, Space Monkeys! We did the hard work of vetting a very fun new podcast for you, so now all YOU have to do is listen to it. YOU'RE WELCOME.
episode ninety-nine: Put your kidneys on speaker
With the end of Season 5 just .... an indeterminate time but probably about two weeks away, the eternal Tuesday of the spotless (thanks to Joe) 9 is g...
episode ninety-eight: Something is coming
It's time to check under the bed, make sure the closet doors are firmly shut, tuck any clown toys in your siblings' rooms or the freezer, and crank up...
episode ninety-seven: Well, this is unexpected
So, a few things to discuss here. Basically, don't do ANYTHING you hear in this episode. So, I guess there's really only one thing to discuss. Never m...
episode ninety-six: Why is there a bar on the bridge?
I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
Have you ever met a Kestochalian? Actually, you might have. They're sort of lovely, except when you want to thump...
Check out The Sprouting!
Olivia frequently just gets bored watching the crew of the Oz 9 tangle themselves up in disasters of their own making, and lately she's been downloadi...
episode ninety-five: Spill or be spilled
Well, cue the sultry saxophone and the wire-brushed cymbals, we're back for part II of our "noir" wormhole. We had high hopes for this one (as in, hig...
episode ninety-four: Expensive perfume and cheap shots
It's a quiet night on the mean streets of ... uhhhhh ... doesn't matter. And it's not that quiet, either. Lemme start this again.
It's a Tuesday...
episode ninety-three: A Midsummer Morning After
It's part 2 of this, and then I swear, we're finished and you can go back to just suspecting how pretentious we are rather than having the receipts.
episode ninety-two: A Midsummer Night's ... whatever the hell this is
As Narrator 2 says in this episode, "English majors must perforce English maj," so here's the episode you've all been dreading: the Fakespeare. Come o...
episode ninety-one: Measuring tape awareness day
This episode... it fought back, I tell you what. But we finally wrangled it into some sort of shape. I'mma go with "parallelogram," because it looks l...
episode ninety: Science makes me affectionate
It's episode 90! And that's the best thing we can say about it.
There's a lot of sampling of condiments. Word of warning: don't get between (for...
episode eighty-nine: Adorable and very merchandisable
It's nearly Christmas as I type this, and I'm bah humbugging like your least favorite neighbor, but throwing out an episode of Oz 9 always makes me ha...